The “Old” Man

In the book of Romans, Paul writes about sin and struggling with sin (Romans 6 and 7). He writes about the “old” man in chapter six. In chapter seven he writes about struggling with sin.

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. (Romans 7:15 NIV)

And another:

I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not what to do — this I keep on doing. (Romans 7:18-19 NIV)

I wonder if Paul struggled with an addiction.

I certainly resonate with the passages above. I feel like a wretched man that cannot get my act together. And that sucks. It’s depressing and discouraging.

At the end of each day, before I go to bed, I feel like I have failed. I feel that I have screwed up. I haven’t lived up to the standard. It feels like this has become a nightly ritual.

I’ve heard it said that if we are lost, we would never feel any guilt. The guilt, they say, is good. It means we haven’t lost our conscience. We still know something is wrong.

But I suspect guilt can be bad. If I am plagued by my own guilt, I think that guilt can become a wedge between God and I. It doesn’t matter how many times I’ve heard how much God loves me. If I don’t feel I’m good enough… will I stay away from God?

I often hear talk of this unconditional grace. And there are times where I feel overwhelmed by it — that nothing I do can separate me from God’s love (Romans 8:38,39). But other times I feel like I’m about to run out of it.

How can God keep accepting me back like nothing happened? Because I feel like the “old” man in me is not dying. He might even be getting stronger — and that’s a terrifying thought. A war rages on and the part of me that seeks to do good keeps losing. Each time, the tattered and defeated self crawls back to God to say “sorry.”

Seemingly instantly, though, the “old” man drags me back.

Paul writes that it is sin in him that does evil.

Then why can’t I get this sin in me out???

I’ve heard the promises…

• God will deliver us.
• God doesn’t allow us to be tempted beyond what we can handle.
• God will gives us strength to overcome.

They’re good promises. And they’re promises I need fulfilled!